The H.U.G.E. strawberry on the cake

Made a Thank You card for here on friday. Yes I know, I should have been studying... but felt that making a card was the only thing I could contribute? *I don't exactly have TIME to get a gift. haha*

Here's the envelope....

And here's the card....

We'd just like to say

Thank You

The ballerinas and her

Never knew I could be so easily affected by someone else's emotion. She read the card and started to tear. And then I realise my vision was unclear. *sigh* Although I am not exactly close to my teacher, but she has still taught me a lot and guided me for the past 1, almost 2 years.

I also never knew that a simple card could evoke so much emotions. Now I know why I enjoy making cards. It's not only the process and the product. The outcome of it all - seeing the smile on the receiver's face, knowing that my little something means something to them - motivates me to continue to create cards.. even if circumstances tells me that I can always buy one. Oh yes, greeting card making is one of my leisure pursuits. *smile* Do hope that my cards have put a smile on your faces :)

"Wow... what a nice envelope. I'm going to keep it in my scrapbook"

"...so cute..."

"I was just reading the card and then... oh god..."

"Thank you all so much" *Thank you too*

Sitting on the floor enjoying the cake

It's time to study. Reality check. *sigh*

30 October 2005, Monday

Hadn't had much time to study during the weekends, so I did the almost-never-done-before. Spotting. *I'm becoming a leopard. Haha* Concentrated on dysphagia, urinary incontinence, menstural management, UTS and CP. Topics that came out: UTS, menstrual management, bladder management *that's all I can remember that came out. Haha* What more can I say? Luck is really on my side. When has this ever happened to me? *never! wow...amazing* I really should buy lottery. And then I started worrying... How long is luck going to be with me? Can you please stay at least until Friday? *pls pls pls...*

Know that tomorrow will be busy again. Need to head to the airport in the evening. So that leaves me less than a day to study for IMH and BSM. *im dead* Really don't know what I've been doing this semester. Now everything is LAST MINUTE. I am sure catching on the passed-down syndrome from them. *haha*

Stressed. Confused. Anterograde amnesia.

31st October 2005, Tuesday

Supposedly to study for IMH and BSM. In the end, nothing went in. *what's new?* I don't know my shoulder complex. I don't know how the finger extends and flexes. I don't know sensory components. I don't know schizophrenia. And the list goes on... extensively. I'm doomed. *sigh* Should be putting extra effort to study. But... I didn't. *argh! what am i doing?!*

Went to the airport to send of my dance teacher. Sigh. The sight of leaving. 我不喜欢. Another person is leaving... my life. The world has shrunk, but leaving is still so . . . . . . *sigh* But since the world has shrunk, I do hope our paths shall cross again. Till then. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

为什么在我的眼睛 总有预感将要下雨 . . . *sob*


1 November 2005, Wednesday

I'm dead. I'm doom. *what's new again?* I've prepared my email already. In the event of the re-enactment of the whole traumatising event again, I am prepared. *or at least I think I am* Prepare to answer. Prepared to reply. Because I know where I stand. And I know how I performed. Failure.

Didn't finish my BSM section. And those answered, I could barely write something. Certified: FAIL. No buts. No exceptions. No what-ifs. No luck. No miracle. That's what I am. A certified failure. *haha* Never been so demoralised about a paper. Or perhaps I should say never been unprepared for the examinations. *what am i doing... sigh`*

You'll have a good time marking. Trust me. Don't bother reading. There's nothing worth rewarding a mark. Zero. Make your own life easy. Make mine cold hard reality. There... you should have time in your hands now. Isn't that great?

The standards that are beyond my reach. Will I ever grow tall enough? Perhaps, they have gotten the wrong person from the start. In this journey, I have no turns. For it only says "One Way".

Help.


2 November 2005 Thursday.

One more day to go. One more paper. 2 more hours.

The world only talks about efficiency. High speed Internet connections. Fast food. Instant food. And it also talks about convenience. 3-in-1. *oh..there's even 5-in-1 coffee now. goodness gracious me! haha*

Its the 3-in-1 paper tomorrow. Three sub-modules that make up one whole module. I have less than 24 hours to study. I don't know what am I suppose to do. Luck has left me. Definetly. After yesterday's paper, I'm sure of it. *haha* AP... should be fine. Though I don't exactly remember all of the conditions. PPR... seems alright. It's a combination of the sociology that I've learnt, plus counselling knowledge from the other module. BM... *faint*

Stress is really taking over me. Never been so out of control of my emotions for such a long time. Vision has been unclear these past days. Tears. Finished reading everything around 12am and decided to do the tutorial questions and past year paper. I couldn't even understand what the question is asking, neither did I know what those options mean. I am dead. *argh*

It just felt like I didn't study at all. I know nothing. Blank. What am I doing? The exam is less than 9 hours away and here I am with an empty head. Brainless. Got angry. Angry that I did not revised early. Angry that I wasted all my time. Angry that the person could have put in more effort. Angry at my oblivious lack of brain *although it physically exists, it technically doesn't work at all* And then it rained. In these eyes of mine. Don't ask me why.

....I don't even know why I do the things I do...
I am lost and know that I must hide. It's a long long journey...


3 November 2005 Friday

First, need to thank Jellyfish. Thanks for trying so hard to help me. Sorry for the inconvenience caused. *heehee...smiles*

Arrived late for the examinations. Reading time had already started. Weird. I don't feel anxious at all. I guess I have resigned to the fact that I'm going in with an empty head. Doesn't make much of a difference. *La la la...*

Duration: 2 hours. That was what was printed on the coverpage of the examination question paper. You may start writing. The clock said 9.00am. I put my pen down. The clock said 9.45am. Shocked. *huh? Are you serious?* Yes.. that was how fast I finished my paper. Whether I knew the answers or I skipped too many, I am not too sure. But was shocked that I 'completed' a 2 hour paper in 45 minutes. Stoned for 15 minutes. Just started at the clock.. looked around the hall.. stare into space... build castles in the air. Before I decided to finish up those mcqs that I skipped. Finished it at 10.10am. Still early.

Slacked on the table. Someone looked over and STARED. *Alright Alright.. I'll check my paper!* Heard her exclaim "You finished already?... Check your paper". And not long, at about 10.15am, I saw a hand being raised. The doors opened and closed. Tempted to follow too, but realised had a briefing at 12pm. No differences. So slept... until... "Please stop writing". *oh yar.. you two talk alike. haha*

Briefing for upcoming year end clinicals. Feeling stressed about it already. Its been quite some time since the last attachment. Don't know how I am going to survive. Important issues were raised during the briefing. And here are the important things to always, my dear classmates...

Above all, do no harm to your patient [Code of Ethics]

Get along with your supervisor... AT ALL COST.

Flaunt your feathers.

And of course, above all, in any circumstances, at any cost, APPEAR calm. *me, 2005. haha..*

BBQ in the evening. [More about it in another post. Still awaiting for pictures]


Thank you for your kind attention and your precious time. Thank you for reading. *hahaha*

The H.U.G.E. strawberry on the cake

Made a Thank You card for here on friday. Yes I know, I should have been studying... but felt that making a card was the only thing I could contribute? *I don't exactly have TIME to get a gift. haha*

Here's the envelope....

And here's the card....

We'd just like to say

Thank You

The ballerinas and her

Never knew I could be so easily affected by someone else's emotion. She read the card and started to tear. And then I realise my vision was unclear. *sigh* Although I am not exactly close to my teacher, but she has still taught me a lot and guided me for the past 1, almost 2 years.

I also never knew that a simple card could evoke so much emotions. Now I know why I enjoy making cards. It's not only the process and the product. The outcome of it all - seeing the smile on the receiver's face, knowing that my little something means something to them - motivates me to continue to create cards.. even if circumstances tells me that I can always buy one. Oh yes, greeting card making is one of my leisure pursuits. *smile* Do hope that my cards have put a smile on your faces :)

"Wow... what a nice envelope. I'm going to keep it in my scrapbook"

"...so cute..."

"I was just reading the card and then... oh god..."

"Thank you all so much" *Thank you too*

Sitting on the floor enjoying the cake

It's time to study. Reality check. *sigh*

30 October 2005, Monday

Hadn't had much time to study during the weekends, so I did the almost-never-done-before. Spotting. *I'm becoming a leopard. Haha* Concentrated on dysphagia, urinary incontinence, menstural management, UTS and CP. Topics that came out: UTS, menstrual management, bladder management *that's all I can remember that came out. Haha* What more can I say? Luck is really on my side. When has this ever happened to me? *never! wow...amazing* I really should buy lottery. And then I started worrying... How long is luck going to be with me? Can you please stay at least until Friday? *pls pls pls...*

Know that tomorrow will be busy again. Need to head to the airport in the evening. So that leaves me less than a day to study for IMH and BSM. *im dead* Really don't know what I've been doing this semester. Now everything is LAST MINUTE. I am sure catching on the passed-down syndrome from them. *haha*

Stressed. Confused. Anterograde amnesia.

31st October 2005, Tuesday

Supposedly to study for IMH and BSM. In the end, nothing went in. *what's new?* I don't know my shoulder complex. I don't know how the finger extends and flexes. I don't know sensory components. I don't know schizophrenia. And the list goes on... extensively. I'm doomed. *sigh* Should be putting extra effort to study. But... I didn't. *argh! what am i doing?!*

Went to the airport to send of my dance teacher. Sigh. The sight of leaving. 我不喜欢. Another person is leaving... my life. The world has shrunk, but leaving is still so . . . . . . *sigh* But since the world has shrunk, I do hope our paths shall cross again. Till then. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

为什么在我的眼睛 总有预感将要下雨 . . . *sob*


1 November 2005, Wednesday

I'm dead. I'm doom. *what's new again?* I've prepared my email already. In the event of the re-enactment of the whole traumatising event again, I am prepared. *or at least I think I am* Prepare to answer. Prepared to reply. Because I know where I stand. And I know how I performed. Failure.

Didn't finish my BSM section. And those answered, I could barely write something. Certified: FAIL. No buts. No exceptions. No what-ifs. No luck. No miracle. That's what I am. A certified failure. *haha* Never been so demoralised about a paper. Or perhaps I should say never been unprepared for the examinations. *what am i doing... sigh`*

You'll have a good time marking. Trust me. Don't bother reading. There's nothing worth rewarding a mark. Zero. Make your own life easy. Make mine cold hard reality. There... you should have time in your hands now. Isn't that great?

The standards that are beyond my reach. Will I ever grow tall enough? Perhaps, they have gotten the wrong person from the start. In this journey, I have no turns. For it only says "One Way".

Help.


2 November 2005 Thursday.

One more day to go. One more paper. 2 more hours.

The world only talks about efficiency. High speed Internet connections. Fast food. Instant food. And it also talks about convenience. 3-in-1. *oh..there's even 5-in-1 coffee now. goodness gracious me! haha*

Its the 3-in-1 paper tomorrow. Three sub-modules that make up one whole module. I have less than 24 hours to study. I don't know what am I suppose to do. Luck has left me. Definetly. After yesterday's paper, I'm sure of it. *haha* AP... should be fine. Though I don't exactly remember all of the conditions. PPR... seems alright. It's a combination of the sociology that I've learnt, plus counselling knowledge from the other module. BM... *faint*

Stress is really taking over me. Never been so out of control of my emotions for such a long time. Vision has been unclear these past days. Tears. Finished reading everything around 12am and decided to do the tutorial questions and past year paper. I couldn't even understand what the question is asking, neither did I know what those options mean. I am dead. *argh*

It just felt like I didn't study at all. I know nothing. Blank. What am I doing? The exam is less than 9 hours away and here I am with an empty head. Brainless. Got angry. Angry that I did not revised early. Angry that I wasted all my time. Angry that the person could have put in more effort. Angry at my oblivious lack of brain *although it physically exists, it technically doesn't work at all* And then it rained. In these eyes of mine. Don't ask me why.

....I don't even know why I do the things I do...
I am lost and know that I must hide. It's a long long journey...


3 November 2005 Friday

First, need to thank Jellyfish. Thanks for trying so hard to help me. Sorry for the inconvenience caused. *heehee...smiles*

Arrived late for the examinations. Reading time had already started. Weird. I don't feel anxious at all. I guess I have resigned to the fact that I'm going in with an empty head. Doesn't make much of a difference. *La la la...*

Duration: 2 hours. That was what was printed on the coverpage of the examination question paper. You may start writing. The clock said 9.00am. I put my pen down. The clock said 9.45am. Shocked. *huh? Are you serious?* Yes.. that was how fast I finished my paper. Whether I knew the answers or I skipped too many, I am not too sure. But was shocked that I 'completed' a 2 hour paper in 45 minutes. Stoned for 15 minutes. Just started at the clock.. looked around the hall.. stare into space... build castles in the air. Before I decided to finish up those mcqs that I skipped. Finished it at 10.10am. Still early.

Slacked on the table. Someone looked over and STARED. *Alright Alright.. I'll check my paper!* Heard her exclaim "You finished already?... Check your paper". And not long, at about 10.15am, I saw a hand being raised. The doors opened and closed. Tempted to follow too, but realised had a briefing at 12pm. No differences. So slept... until... "Please stop writing". *oh yar.. you two talk alike. haha*

Briefing for upcoming year end clinicals. Feeling stressed about it already. Its been quite some time since the last attachment. Don't know how I am going to survive. Important issues were raised during the briefing. And here are the important things to always, my dear classmates...

Above all, do no harm to your patient [Code of Ethics]

Get along with your supervisor... AT ALL COST.

Flaunt your feathers.

And of course, above all, in any circumstances, at any cost, APPEAR calm. *me, 2005. haha..*

BBQ in the evening. [More about it in another post. Still awaiting for pictures]


Thank you for your kind attention and your precious time. Thank you for reading. *hahaha*