Life Documentation

7 January 2006 Saturday

Volunteer Day for SAOT... to commemorate Singapore's First OT Day. *smiles* It was a nice experience, despite all that waiting...and more waiting *haha* Was my first time on a home visit. Although there wasn't much to do, I learnt what are the areas in home assessment OTs look out for - something which is rather new to me.

Had lunch at the place at Chinatown... FINALLY. Remembered during the hols, XY, MX, ZZ and I were lost in Chinatown trying to look for that makan place. *haha..alright. I am not a Singaporean... bleah* Got to eat my favourite Char Siew Noodles!! And green bean for dessert... on the house! Haha..

Headed to the east in the evening to meet up with HP and GJ for xmas gift exchange *haha.. erm.. a rather late thing* And then headed to Jo's birthday party. Had a good time there... SABO! *hahaha. And due to my personal knowledge of this birthday girl, I think she'd prefer that I do not go into details about her celebration.* Yup.

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. . . . . .

. . . . . .

"[my name] has some rules for you..." said ahma.

Yeah. So she did put on those cute 'antennas' for more than an hour... but she got all her presents. And here's the list:

1. Antennas/Feelers [made by ahma & SJ]

2. Bag [the 'real' present *haha*]

3. Undies!! [a.k.a. underwear *haha* and her real grandma said we should have gave a SET!! Hahah.. what a hip grandma!]

4. Birthday Card

Really do hope she likes the presents... especially after the major disappointment... Oh well. We can't always be pleasing everyone. *shrugs*

Oh yes, got a present from 'bro'. *THANKS A MILLION!* Narnia book!! 7-in-1!! Haha.. was planning to get it during the weekend but I got it as a present! And thanks for words of encouragement. Will always bear in mind what you have written *smiles*

8 January 2006 Sunday

First ballet lesson of 2006. After a month's break. I can only hear my muscles crying. And my bone going crack, crack, crack. Oh boy.. age IS really catching up. I hate to admit it, but I really have to.

Was pespiring and aching.. just doing barre. Gosh.. I am SO out of shape. But the thought of me putting on SO SO SO SO much weight since my JC days.. Forced myself to carry on. Burn off all those fats. *I seriously need to lose weight. I'm endomorphic. I'm fat.*

Time for pirouette. *Faint* My weakest area. I was so dreading it. 'I can't do it.. I'm hopeless'... and then I thought about what 'bro' wrote in the card... So i decided 'Oh what the heck. Just try. Haven't even tried and I'm saying I cannot. Alrights'. And things did improve a lot. And I really mean a lot. *haha* A miracle just happened. Hahaha... but really, didn't expect any improvements since I never did practice. But ya.. was really happy. Hope things will maintain as it is next week *cross fingers*

Had to miss out alumni chalet. Stayed at home to finish preparations for my case presentation and to prepare for practical the next day. STRESS!!! First case presentation!!!

Hope all goes well tomorrow...

9 January 2006 Monday

2nd practical lesson today. Things went better than last week. At least the splint I made was.. erm.. looked better than last week? Haha. But I'm starting to like this practical... See it as a art/craft lesson rather than a splinting lesson. Okays. Don't get me wrong... not that I am not taking things seriously. It just feels like an art/craft lesson to me. *hee*

Case presentation.. was rather stressed and panicky about it. The first batch of ding-dongs to present, among the cohort. It was alright. Wasn't fantastic, but wasn't that bad. I was a bit disappointed at my results because I should and could have done more. Started thinking a lot of negative things.. but then I thought about 'bro' words.. and told myself that I will improve for the next case presentation.

It is a new year. And I do hope to change. Into a better person.. I hope. I like it when people tell me my weakness. Then I can strive to improve. I must agree I don't accept criticism well.. but when given time to reflect upon things, I am able to learn about my weakness and do something about it. :)

Thought about something today... passion for OT. After lecture, and learning about the pay of OTs, I am really starting to wonder why I am slogging and killing myself for. Why am I torturing myself so much? Why am I studying so much? Was it for the money? Was it for that whole 'I've got a degree thing'? Or was it something in me that wanted to do this course? I could have always taken a different path... perhaps an even easier one. But why? Why did I choose this path?

Sometimes I really don't know myself. Many times I get very lost. Lost on this path. Lost on this journey. Sometimes everything seems dark and foggy and I don't know what is the meaning to Life anymore. All the hard work.. all the effort.. is it really worth it? Does it mean that much to me? Is this really what I want?

I do have many other dreams. I do have many other wishes. But then again, reality is nothing like what we see in dreams nor wishes. Why is it so many others are fulfilling their own dreams and wishes.. yet I'm stuck. Standstill. Am I not trying hard enough? Or am I giving myself too many excuses? Or have I never given a chance nor a go at it?

It does seem weird. It does seem ironic. We are living our own lifes and yet we get lost in them. We choose our own paths, but the road we chose often seems to end up as the worst one. We are the directors of our own show, yet nothing seems to be going the way you want it to be. We are the dreamers, yet we are also the destroyers. Sigh.

It's a long long journey....

Life Documentation

7 January 2006 Saturday

Volunteer Day for SAOT... to commemorate Singapore's First OT Day. *smiles* It was a nice experience, despite all that waiting...and more waiting *haha* Was my first time on a home visit. Although there wasn't much to do, I learnt what are the areas in home assessment OTs look out for - something which is rather new to me.

Had lunch at the place at Chinatown... FINALLY. Remembered during the hols, XY, MX, ZZ and I were lost in Chinatown trying to look for that makan place. *haha..alright. I am not a Singaporean... bleah* Got to eat my favourite Char Siew Noodles!! And green bean for dessert... on the house! Haha..

Headed to the east in the evening to meet up with HP and GJ for xmas gift exchange *haha.. erm.. a rather late thing* And then headed to Jo's birthday party. Had a good time there... SABO! *hahaha. And due to my personal knowledge of this birthday girl, I think she'd prefer that I do not go into details about her celebration.* Yup.

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

"[my name] has some rules for you..." said ahma.

Yeah. So she did put on those cute 'antennas' for more than an hour... but she got all her presents. And here's the list:

1. Antennas/Feelers [made by ahma & SJ]

2. Bag [the 'real' present *haha*]

3. Undies!! [a.k.a. underwear *haha* and her real grandma said we should have gave a SET!! Hahah.. what a hip grandma!]

4. Birthday Card

Really do hope she likes the presents... especially after the major disappointment... Oh well. We can't always be pleasing everyone. *shrugs*

Oh yes, got a present from 'bro'. *THANKS A MILLION!* Narnia book!! 7-in-1!! Haha.. was planning to get it during the weekend but I got it as a present! And thanks for words of encouragement. Will always bear in mind what you have written *smiles*

8 January 2006 Sunday

First ballet lesson of 2006. After a month's break. I can only hear my muscles crying. And my bone going crack, crack, crack. Oh boy.. age IS really catching up. I hate to admit it, but I really have to.

Was pespiring and aching.. just doing barre. Gosh.. I am SO out of shape. But the thought of me putting on SO SO SO SO much weight since my JC days.. Forced myself to carry on. Burn off all those fats. *I seriously need to lose weight. I'm endomorphic. I'm fat.*

Time for pirouette. *Faint* My weakest area. I was so dreading it. 'I can't do it.. I'm hopeless'... and then I thought about what 'bro' wrote in the card... So i decided 'Oh what the heck. Just try. Haven't even tried and I'm saying I cannot. Alrights'. And things did improve a lot. And I really mean a lot. *haha* A miracle just happened. Hahaha... but really, didn't expect any improvements since I never did practice. But ya.. was really happy. Hope things will maintain as it is next week *cross fingers*

Had to miss out alumni chalet. Stayed at home to finish preparations for my case presentation and to prepare for practical the next day. STRESS!!! First case presentation!!!

Hope all goes well tomorrow...

9 January 2006 Monday

2nd practical lesson today. Things went better than last week. At least the splint I made was.. erm.. looked better than last week? Haha. But I'm starting to like this practical... See it as a art/craft lesson rather than a splinting lesson. Okays. Don't get me wrong... not that I am not taking things seriously. It just feels like an art/craft lesson to me. *hee*

Case presentation.. was rather stressed and panicky about it. The first batch of ding-dongs to present, among the cohort. It was alright. Wasn't fantastic, but wasn't that bad. I was a bit disappointed at my results because I should and could have done more. Started thinking a lot of negative things.. but then I thought about 'bro' words.. and told myself that I will improve for the next case presentation.

It is a new year. And I do hope to change. Into a better person.. I hope. I like it when people tell me my weakness. Then I can strive to improve. I must agree I don't accept criticism well.. but when given time to reflect upon things, I am able to learn about my weakness and do something about it. :)

Thought about something today... passion for OT. After lecture, and learning about the pay of OTs, I am really starting to wonder why I am slogging and killing myself for. Why am I torturing myself so much? Why am I studying so much? Was it for the money? Was it for that whole 'I've got a degree thing'? Or was it something in me that wanted to do this course? I could have always taken a different path... perhaps an even easier one. But why? Why did I choose this path?

Sometimes I really don't know myself. Many times I get very lost. Lost on this path. Lost on this journey. Sometimes everything seems dark and foggy and I don't know what is the meaning to Life anymore. All the hard work.. all the effort.. is it really worth it? Does it mean that much to me? Is this really what I want?

I do have many other dreams. I do have many other wishes. But then again, reality is nothing like what we see in dreams nor wishes. Why is it so many others are fulfilling their own dreams and wishes.. yet I'm stuck. Standstill. Am I not trying hard enough? Or am I giving myself too many excuses? Or have I never given a chance nor a go at it?

It does seem weird. It does seem ironic. We are living our own lifes and yet we get lost in them. We choose our own paths, but the road we chose often seems to end up as the worst one. We are the directors of our own show, yet nothing seems to be going the way you want it to be. We are the dreamers, yet we are also the destroyers. Sigh.

It's a long long journey....