Life Documentation

24 October 2006, Tuesday

Its been a long time since I've really blogged... according to Edified. I guess after that 'warning' from our lecturer, I decided it was best not to mention anything about what is going on in my life right now. I'm a coward... I admit. *chuckles*

Anyway, much has happened since the end of the examinations about 2 weeks ago (to be precise, 17 days ago.. 6 October 2006, Friday). Internship has started on the 9th of October and for me... that certainly wasn't good news at all.

Firstly I'm at a place not of my choice.... then I'm in an area of practice not of my choice.... and lastly, I'm accompanied by another colleague that was suppose to be going to another place. Long story short, there was basically nothing much for me to look forward to.

2 weeks and one day has passed... and although I must say I've got an understanding facilitator, I think I'm losing it myself....

Where once I pride in being good and competent in something, something which I have done well in previous internships; I've lost it. When I was 'reprimanded' by her, I was absolutely devastated. I was never like that. What has happened to me?

I dont' know. Somehow, somewhere I got lost. From my path, from my direction, and most importantly, from myself. I don't know how I am going to pick up the shattered pieces, because one mistake, be it major or puny... it's going to be the only thing that a supervisor will remember. Trust me. I've experienced it... more than once. In their eyes, they will see only what you did not do, what you did (that wasn't right to them) and most importantly, they are blinded to what you have done good.

Why can't people understand that to err is human... and as one person said to me before "You're a student, you are allowed to make mistakes, just as long nothing happens to your patients. If you are perfect, if you don't mistakes, you don't need to be a student". If only the world was filled with people like you....

Aside from losing myself, I guess there's nothing more serious that I can blog about. I guess the haze did come at a timely manner.... I'm lost within it. And falling ill from it?

Existence is a struggle... for existence has no meaning to it.

Life Documentation

24 October 2006, Tuesday

Its been a long time since I've really blogged... according to Edified. I guess after that 'warning' from our lecturer, I decided it was best not to mention anything about what is going on in my life right now. I'm a coward... I admit. *chuckles*

Anyway, much has happened since the end of the examinations about 2 weeks ago (to be precise, 17 days ago.. 6 October 2006, Friday). Internship has started on the 9th of October and for me... that certainly wasn't good news at all.

Firstly I'm at a place not of my choice.... then I'm in an area of practice not of my choice.... and lastly, I'm accompanied by another colleague that was suppose to be going to another place. Long story short, there was basically nothing much for me to look forward to.

2 weeks and one day has passed... and although I must say I've got an understanding facilitator, I think I'm losing it myself....

Where once I pride in being good and competent in something, something which I have done well in previous internships; I've lost it. When I was 'reprimanded' by her, I was absolutely devastated. I was never like that. What has happened to me?

I dont' know. Somehow, somewhere I got lost. From my path, from my direction, and most importantly, from myself. I don't know how I am going to pick up the shattered pieces, because one mistake, be it major or puny... it's going to be the only thing that a supervisor will remember. Trust me. I've experienced it... more than once. In their eyes, they will see only what you did not do, what you did (that wasn't right to them) and most importantly, they are blinded to what you have done good.

Why can't people understand that to err is human... and as one person said to me before "You're a student, you are allowed to make mistakes, just as long nothing happens to your patients. If you are perfect, if you don't mistakes, you don't need to be a student". If only the world was filled with people like you....

Aside from losing myself, I guess there's nothing more serious that I can blog about. I guess the haze did come at a timely manner.... I'm lost within it. And falling ill from it?

Existence is a struggle... for existence has no meaning to it.