3 months have passed since I've returned to sunny island, and I think I'm gradually and will eventually get used to living here again. At least my longing for down under is not as great when I first got back. Though I definitely miss the whole experience of living abroad, despite the unhappy memories.

Started working for about 2 months plus and I guess I am getting more settled down, adjusting myself to the work life, which is rather... not exciting as I expected. Stressful... yes of course. But no longer am I able to 'take my time' and whole heartedly give to my clients. At the back of your mind, you have to constantly keep in mind the OTHER side of clinical work. Sad but its true, this is reality. It somehow feels the 'innocence' of clinical work is somehow lost when you work, versus when you are on clinical placement.

Colleagues are nice too. Most of them, at least I think they are. But why do I feel that everytime I step into the office, it feels like I'm in a masquerade. Sometimes it is so overwhelming that I don't know what to do. Is this what work life makes a person become? To don on a mask... to be part of the inhuman race, where truth is false and false is truth; where repugnant and evil deeds, characteristics, and behaviours are regarded so highly as one-way ticket for success and climibing up THE ladder; where everyone is so blinded by the shimmering lights emitting from all that glitters from the masks in this ball, no one can tell evil in the face of it.

It disgusts me to see how vulnerable and disgusting human beings can be.
It saddens me to see how conniving human beings can be.
It disgusts me to see how human beings can live in this egregious lie in which they built.
It frightens me that someday, I eventually become a guest in this masquerade.

Now I can understand how Peter Pan was created. I too, wish, he could bring me to Never Never Land.

3 months have passed since I've returned to sunny island, and I think I'm gradually and will eventually get used to living here again. At least my longing for down under is not as great when I first got back. Though I definitely miss the whole experience of living abroad, despite the unhappy memories.

Started working for about 2 months plus and I guess I am getting more settled down, adjusting myself to the work life, which is rather... not exciting as I expected. Stressful... yes of course. But no longer am I able to 'take my time' and whole heartedly give to my clients. At the back of your mind, you have to constantly keep in mind the OTHER side of clinical work. Sad but its true, this is reality. It somehow feels the 'innocence' of clinical work is somehow lost when you work, versus when you are on clinical placement.

Colleagues are nice too. Most of them, at least I think they are. But why do I feel that everytime I step into the office, it feels like I'm in a masquerade. Sometimes it is so overwhelming that I don't know what to do. Is this what work life makes a person become? To don on a mask... to be part of the inhuman race, where truth is false and false is truth; where repugnant and evil deeds, characteristics, and behaviours are regarded so highly as one-way ticket for success and climibing up THE ladder; where everyone is so blinded by the shimmering lights emitting from all that glitters from the masks in this ball, no one can tell evil in the face of it.

It disgusts me to see how vulnerable and disgusting human beings can be.
It saddens me to see how conniving human beings can be.
It disgusts me to see how human beings can live in this egregious lie in which they built.
It frightens me that someday, I eventually become a guest in this masquerade.

Now I can understand how Peter Pan was created. I too, wish, he could bring me to Never Never Land.